


Terrible Things Do Come In Twos (Part One)

by hips_of_steel



Series: Parenting... What FUN! [4]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: FACE Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hips_of_steel/pseuds/hips_of_steel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As twins Alfred and Matthew near their second birthday, Francis and Arthur start to worry about the fact that one of the twins seems very reluctant to talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Terrible Things Do Come In Twos (Part One)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the series is not dead. It occasionally rises from its long slumber to poke me in the face and remind me it exists and would like to be continued. It's the whole reason this is a series of short fics rather than a multi-chapter work. 
> 
> Anyhow, there will be a second part to this fic eventually. Feel free to throw out some ideas in the comments below.
> 
> And, as usual in my works, translations will be in the end notes.

It was nice to come home and see Francis busy working with the boys.

Well, working on Francis's part.

He held up a flash card to his rapt audience of two. "This color is?"

There was a pause as the little ones stared at it, and then Matthew shrieked in delight. "GWEEN!"

"Yes, green! Very good, Matthieu. Now Alfred, would you like to do the next one-"

Francis had barely pulled out the card when Matthew shouted again. "WED!"

Francis sighed, and then glanced up. "Hello, Arthur!"

The boys turned, and Alfred was on his feet so fast that he zipped over to Arthur. "Daddy!"

Francis laughed. "That's the first word I've gotten out of him all day!"

Matthew crawled over, pulling himself up to smile. "Hi, daddy."

Arthur knelt, allowing the toddlers to giggle. "Hi boys. Did you miss me?"

Alfred nodded, and Matthew giggled. "Alfwed not talk _all_ day!"

Alfred seemed content to be quiet. Arthur had to admit that as they were getting older, he was getting concerned about it.

Francis sighed. "Well, I made dinner during nap time, it just needs to go into the oven. Think you can entertain the boys for a while?"

Arthur nodded.

Eventually, after dinner, a rousing game of tag, and getting the boys to drink some warm milk, they got them into bed.

 

It was a family reunion of sorts on Saturday for the Kirklands. Arthur stood next to his older brothers, watching their kids run around while he sipped at a beer.

"Allistor?"

His older brother glanced over. "What?"

"You ever have problems getting any of your three kids to start talking?"

Allistor took a swig of beer before responding. "Kyle was difficult at first. He didn't want too. But Elaine got him to start eventually. Zoe scared us, though."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. Zoe was only a month older than the twins, and six year old Kyle was the loudest kid at the entire gathering. "How so?"

"She was practically mute until eighteen months, other than crying. We got her hearing checked and everything. Finally, got her out of the house without Kyle or Oscar demanding our attention, and suddenly she just points at the sky and goes 'bird'. The damn boys had been cutting her off every time she tried to talk. Of course, once she figured out that she could say almost anything and instantly get the attention of both her parents... Well, shouting wasn't too far behind."

Arthur snorted at that. Nearby, Patrick laughed.

"Which one of the boys making you worry, Arthur?" Patrick asked after a few moments had passed.

"Alfred. He talks when I'm home, but his vocabulary is behind Matthew's, and he refuses to say more than yes, no, and papa to Francis when I'm gone."

Dylan, having seen his three brothers over by the trees, zipped over. "What'd I miss?"

"Alfred ain't talking much yet." Allistor said. Dylan shrugged.

"Yeah, seems to run in our family, doesn't it? Avery was the same way- AVERY GET DOWN FROM THERE!" Dylan yelped as Avery, in a effort to one up Kyle, got way too high on the climbing wall. The six and five year old cousins were always in competition with each other.

Eight year old Bridget, meanwhile, ran right over to Patrick. "Mom said to make Uncle Ali watch the food. She wants you."

Patrick nodded, heading off. Allistor took up a defensive position around the deserts (to protect them from certain small grabby hands), and then smiled.

"Don't worry, Arthur. Alfred might be quiet at home, but he sure ain't when you're taking him out and about. He's going to talk soon enough."

As if to prove that point, the small boy raised a hearty scream, instantly getting the attention of every adult in the vicinity. Matthew seemed silently embarrassed as he clung to Francis's ankles.

"Perhaps you and Francis ought to swap boys for a few days." Allistor almost said as an afterthought.

Arthur glanced up. "Huh?"

"Alfred's attached to you, but Matt's always glued to Francis. Maybe you need to force the boys to communicate with the other parent."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "And how would we do that?"

"You take Matthew to all his appointments and make Francis take Alfred without Matthew. Teach 'em to live without each other and make them communicate with you. It's not like you gotta go on a trip or anything."

There was suddenly crying from Zoe as she tripped and fell, and Allistor scooped up his youngest with a smile, but she tried to push him away, clearly unhappy.

"Oh, and be warned, you're getting awfully close to the terrible twos. It's not gonna be easy."

 

"The terrible twos. God, we've gotta get Alfred communicating fast, or else he's gonna throw so many tantrums..."

Francis nodded. They had gotten both the boys in bed and were enjoying a brief rest from responsibilities. "I asked the doctor to do a hearing check the last time we were in, and he's doing well. He's just not picking up on speech.

"He is around me, but not around you..." Arthur sighed, plopping his face onto the desk. "Ali suggested something."

"What?"

"I take care of Matthew for a while and force Alfred to socialize with you."

Francis raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"You take Al to the doctor without Matt or me, vice versa, split up the twins when we go grocery shopping. Things like that."

Francis paused. "That's not actually a bad idea. Should we give it a try?"

Arthur paused, and then nodded. "Sure, why not?"

 

The first test was the normal grocery shopping. Arthur scooped up Matthew and wandered down towards the pharmacy to pick up some prescriptions. And Francis went down the aisle with the crackers.

Alfred loved animal crackers, and if he was with Arthur, he demanded them. Francis was curious to see how it would go with him.

Alfred, walking alongside him, suddenly spotted them. "Papa, papa!" He said, tugging on his sleeve.

Francis looked, and he pointed. Taking a deep breath, he plunged into risky waters.

"What do you want, Alfred?"

Alfred pointed at the package. "Papa!"

He knew that Alfred knew how to say cracker. So he waited.

Alfred got impatient and pointed at the crackers again, a small scowl appearing on his face. "Papa!"

"What item on the shelf, Alfred?"

And suddenly that small foot came up off the ground and stomped down. Alfred almost shouted, except he wasn't as balanced as he thought he was, and fell over.

And promptly, upon realizing he had fallen on his butt, he cried. Not little baby cries. Full on toddler screams.

Francis groaned as everyone in the store looked at them. He picked Alfred up and carried him outside, leaving the empty basket at the door, and then setting Alfred on the ground.

_I wish he would be quiet, but I can't reward this behavior. Hope Arthur remembers to grab the animal crackers._

Alfred continued to howl until he realized that Francis was doing his best to ignore him, other than holding his hand to keep him from running away. A few pathetic whimpers rose up, but Francis bit his tongue and held his ground, trying to smile and apologize to all the passerby.

"Papa?"

This he granted a response, turning.

"Up?" Alfred said, wiping away his tears on his sleeves.

Francis nodded, picking up Alfred and walking back into the store.

Arthur and Matthew were in the checkout line, and Francis headed over. "Did you get all the groceries?"

"Yeah. Crackers a no go?"

"Yep. He did ask to be picked up, though, but he already does that occasionally."

Matthew watched them, Alfred in Francis's arms, and then chanted his own demand. "Papa, daddy, up!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Not until later, okay Matthew?"

A grumpy face rose up from the older twin, but he finally nodded and instead began talking at Alfred, who was being very quiet after the tantrum.

 

After a few weeks, their hopeful speech attempts seemed to be failing.

Alfred was refusing to communicate with Francis, and whenever these attempts failed, he threw a tantrum. And when Matthew got upset that he was being ignored by Francis for Alfred, he threw a tantrum.

The terrible twos had begun.

In fact, getting either of the boys to behave at their second birthday party was a nightmare. Arthur was glad none of his family had come. They had given over presents for the boys at the family reunion.

Gilbert popped in and out, the boys managing to quit their sobbing long enough to answer his questions. _How old are you? Two. Did you miss me? Yes. What's my name?_ (Gil in Alfred's case, Gil Gil for Matthew). Satisfied with these answers, he excused himself. Apparently his younger brother was having surgery tomorrow, so he was headed out of town.

When Antonio and Lovina arrived, however, they didn't quiet down. Finally, Lovina snapped.

She whirled on both the twins, and before they could even cry out in alarm, she was shouting. _"I BAMBINI, ESSERE TRANQUILLO O TI LEGARTI CON I PIEDI!"_

The house was dead silent. Antonio put on a soft smile that was somewhat nervous as he watched Alfred's lip wobble.

Matthew got up and zipped over to Francis, who scooped him up. They all watched Alfred, afraid they were about to see the waterworks.

Lovina knelt down, her tone turning affectionate. _"Tu sei un figlio così problematico, eh?"_

She suddenly scooped him up, and the lip wobbling stopped. She hummed a soft tune, and soon enough he was calm. She turned and smiled at Antonio.

_"Proprio come il mio fratellino, Feliciano."_

Francis raised an eyebrow and Antonio translated. "She threatened to tie them up by their feet, asked Al if he was the problem kid, and then commented he's just like her little brother."

Lovina smiled as the house was calm. "I remember when Feliciano and Marcello were in their terrible twos. Sometimes you just have to remind them that for now, your word is law. Even if they don't exactly understand what those words are..."

"We've been trying to get Alfred to talk more. His vocabulary is suffering." Arthur said as she bounced the boy, making him giggle.

She finally set him down. "Sorry, Alfred, you're heavy." Standing back up, she spoke. "Have you been using positive reinforcement?"

Francis sighed. "We want too, but Alfred won't do anything to earn it."

Lovina paused, tilting her head. "Alright, get your flash cards and grab me some cake and forks. We're gonna do this."

 

Arthur watched the bizarre scene unfold in his living room. Lovina had the flash cards, laying flat on her stomach, and a piece of cake. Francis and Antonio each had a boy in their lap.

Arthur had been instructed to stand here for cake refills.

Lovina picked up a flash card. "Alright, Matthew, what color is this?"

"Yellow."

She smiled. "Very good. Here, have a bite of cake."

He giggled, and then Lovina turned to Alfred. Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Are we bribing them?"

"Shush. This is positive reinforcement. Now, Alfred, what color is this?"

"Cake." He finally said after a long moment, pointing at the cake.

"What color is this?" She asked. Antonio held Alfred in his lap, and Alfred looked impatient.

"Cake!" He said again, irritated this time.

"If you tell me what color, you get the cake."

A pause, and Francis wondered if she was going to get the same response he did. Just crying and screaming.

Instead, the toddler spoke in a sullen voice. "Yellow."

_"Scortese, ma carino."_ She muttered softly, but then smiled. "Very good, Alfred! You get a bite of cake!"

After a few more rounds, Alfred suddenly seemed to catch on. Soon, he was shouting the answer with Matthew.

Arthur suddenly muttered under his breath. "Damn little bastard. You knew them the whole time!"

The twins seemed oblivious to his comment, but the three other adults looked up and laughed with him.

They celebrated the boys birthday, and finally Arthur was able to sigh with relief.

 

Francis had taken to carrying goldfish crackers with him.

Whenever Alfred spoke, he and Matt each got one.

And finally, about two months after the birthday party, they put it to the test.

Arthur and Matthew again headed for the pharmacy, and Francis and Alfred walked down past the crackers.

Right as they passed them, a hand grabbed his sleeve. "Papa?"

Francis turned. "Yes, Alfred?"

"Crackers. Can we get some?"

Francis practically beamed as Alfred said that. "Yes, I think we can."

He picked the box off the shelf, and Alfred giggled. The whole way back through the store, he started singing a little song.  
"We got some crackers, we got some crackers."

And when they rounded the corner and Arthur saw Francis grinning and holding a box of animal crackers, he tried to hold back his own song of joy.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, you all thought it was gonna be Matthew who is the quiet one, right?  
> Don't worry though. Despite Alfred's reluctance at first, he is going to be anything but reluctant by the next part.
> 
> Translations
> 
> I BAMBINI, ESSERE TRANQUILLO O TI LEGARTI CON I PIEDI!-Children, be quiet or I'll tie you up by your feet!  
> Tu sei un figlio così problematico, eh?-You are a troublesome child, huh?  
> Proprio come il mio fratellino, Feliciano.-Just like my little brother, Feliciano  
> Scortese, ma carino.-Rude, but cute.


End file.
